Saturday, October 30, 2010

I carved me up a Melvin

Its that time of year again where Pittsburgh Melvin the Pumpkin makes his appearance. I got this great galloping gourd at GEagle today and got right to scooping out all the guts and delicious seeds! I carved it with my multi-tool-knife-thing which makes me even more of a super ninja compared to the guy that pulled a pistol.
Thats right. I brought a knife to pumpkin fight and won.

 The patient is ready,
 The incisions are marked.
 The operation was...
A GREAT SUCCESS

Daft Punk Gets Acrobatic

I'm learning Flixel, which is a thing for making Flash games. Look how incredibly awesome this game is.



Just you, half of Daft Punk, and lots of forward and backflips. What could be better.

The arrow keys will cause the character to walk.
Pressing the space bar will result in severe jumping.
Also you can press P to pause.
Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Louder Way to Carve a Pumpkin

When I carve a pumpkin the sound is "snicker-snack!" because of course my leatherman is AWESOME for everything, including carving pumpkins. On the other hand, when this guy carves a pumkin you hear "blam! blam! blam!" because he uses a glock; and thats pretty cool too. It's like this guy opened a fortune cookie and it said "Never bring a knife to a pumpkin fight."; which is cool.




Speaking of Youtube, I'm going to start my very own Youtube series. Undoubtedly it will be the best Youtube show ever. You may ask, "But Clyde! Can the internet even handle THAT MUCH AWESOME?". To that my answer is:


Well, it better! >:D




G'night, folks!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Things You Can Do on an Impulse: Become an Ordained Minister

So a friend from down the hall stops by and comments that the room seemed so much bigger now after we moved all the furniture around. I replied that there was eventually going to be a couch to go in front of the TV. He said something about the wooden bench thats currently there. I compared its comfortability to an old church pew. I then pointed out that with this church pew, the organ in the corner, and the TV shelf being set up like an altar, I pretty much had a church. Then the idea came.

"I should totally do weddings in here."
"Don't you need a license or something?"
"Maybe?"

A quick internet search revealed the truth. It turned out that I could become an ordained minister over the internet, for free, thanks to the Universal Life Church, a church founded on the idea that everyone is entitled to choose their own religion. Also the Beatles had all become ministers through them. Perfect! I then sat down to fill out a web form, and prepared to answer whatever number of questions they had to confirm my ordination.

And then I just had to put my name and email. It was easier than making a GMail account. I didn't even have to take time to think of a clever username that wasn't already taken. A few hours later I got an email saying that I'd been ordained (they have people read the ordination requests and do them in batches, because a computer can't ordain you apparently.)

So now I'm an ordained minister, and can officiate weddings, perform baptisms, hold funerals, and call myself Reverend... and its pretty awesome.

A MOST FITTING TRIBUTE

I appeared in a video game and it wasn't even my idea, or a game I was making this time!

Some friends are starting to work with Flixel, to make browser-based games with, and their test game included a character from some concept art I posted,


and on top of that they even put my face on the coins he's collecting! :D You can tell because only I am awesome enough for the hat clearly depicted on the falling currency.

http://www.drfishbowl.com/?page_id=15
Behold the sheer awesomeness!!

Also good night.

The Great Organ Caper



Finding the Organ

Some number of weeks ago, I had the painful realization that I was going into withdrawal...

and it wasn't just ANY kind of withdrawal! No! It had to be one of the worst kinds of withdrawal there is, right when I was already faced with enough academic responsibilities. That, adoring fans, is having-a-keyboarded-instrument-right-there-in-my-room withdrawal. I already had been playing with a tiny electronic keyboard I found in my mom's garage, but eventually a tolerance built up and I knew I'd have to find a bigger hit.

It was at that time the taller of my two roommates, Coilin-pronounced-Colin, made the suggestion that a good source of lulz would be to acquire some large object from somebody on Craigslist and place it in the room on the following Saturday morning, while my other roommate, John, was still asleep. The plan would then have been to wait until John wakes up, and pretend as if nothing in the room had changed, and that the then-undetermined large object was not new at all.

While poking around the different sections on Craigslist, I came across inspiration. I suddenly really wanted to get an organ in the room. I sent emails to a few of the people who had listed organs they wanted to sell, and finally got a response from a couple of electrical engineers only two miles away in possession of a 1959 Wurlitzer Electric Organ complete with vacuum tubes and more than a few certified and accredited levels of vintage awesome.

The First Retrieval Attempt

...didn't go as planned. This is likely due to having NOT DONE MUCH PLANNING AT ALL. That's how I roll though, so why don't you bring your own damn umbrellas to stay dry when you're crying about it. Actually it wasn't really a retrieval attempt. If it were a retrieval attempt, the attempt qualifier would quickly become unnecessary as the attempt becomes simply a retrieval.

The Recon Mission, which it totally was from the start.

I recruited Coilin, and got a hold of a hand cart so we could push it along and get some exercise. I also used Google Maps to get directions, and bought some Gatorade to create the illusion of hydrating ourselves on that hot day.

We pushed the cart all the way to this house, which turned out to be on a rather large hill. Indeed, there were a great deal more hills than the maps had indicated; which is to say the maps hadn't indicated hills at all. The lesson learned that day is there will be an excess of hills and bridges when travelling anywhere in Pittsburgh.

Anyway, when we got there the proprietors of the organ had given us quite the incredulous look when we showed up with a total of two people and a push cart. I ventured into their abode to examine the organ in person, and indeed it was a prize to behold. My already impressive determination to make this organ a fixture in my living space was doubled that day.

Coilin and I returned to the dorm empty-handed that day, but as scouts on a reconnaissance mission we had succeeded. I now had all the information needed to complete a retrieval operation.

This operation would have to take place two weeks later though, due to the availability of the persons selling the organ. Incidentally John happened to be returning home to California for a day. He would be sure to encounter a great surprise on his return.

OPERATION GRAB-MY-ORGAN

Two weeks later, I returned to that house with one-and-a-half times as many people, and most importantly a car. This car would prove to be just sufficient to transport the instrument back to Morewood Gardens, my dorm building.

With the might of three people and a transforming hand-truck, we carefully guided the very heavy appliance down about 15 steps, which kept getting narrower, until we at last reached the street. After measuring the organ, and the back hatch of new recruit Matt Glisson's car, we determined that the organ might not fit. Then the organ did fit. After redistributing the contents of the car, detaching the front legs of the organ and stashing them inside the piano bench, we packed ourselves into the car and began the trip back to campus.

With the additional weight of the organ, the car handled much like a truck; however our fearless pilot Matt was undeterred and we found ourselves back on campus. 

Getting It Upstairs

Another detail that had been dismissed earlier was the fact that, although Morewood Gardens DOES indeed have elevators, none are accessible from the ground level outside. I of course had dismissed this because I knew that with our combined manpower we could haul this right up the front steps and get it to an elevator.

I summoned my contacts and hailed down a friend who had coincidentally passed by as these events were being made to take place. With each man to a corner of the organ, laid on its back, we carried it up the stairs with the greatest of ease... thrilling passers-by with our astounding ability to take up the entire width of the stairs. 

The rest was simply a matter of pushing the organ on the cart over to an elevator, and sliding it in place in the room.

SUCCESS!

See that right there? Thats the organ. Its in my room. Suck on that, planning and organization!
Now I have an electric organ in my dorm room. What up with that.


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

FIRST POST

I know, I know, everybody's like: "OMG Yes! Clyde's starting a blog... finally!".

In case you dwell under a rock and haven't heard the buzz (read: critical acclaim), I'm Clyde. Specifically Clyde H. Shaffer III. Actually thats Reverend Clyde H Shaffer III or something to that extent... but thats a story to elaborate on in a future post.

I've got my own wonderfully ill-defined style, I'm always up to some crazy shenanigan, my tastes in everything are impeccable, and I'm just so unbelievably awesome. I totally wouldn't be saying these things if other people who aren't my mom hadn't said them first! Seriously! :D

So check back (or use Google Reader) for stories, commentary, and all that other good stuff people like to read in blogs. Copious amounts of pure Awesome are sure to radiate from your screen and onto you. I may even end up with a regular update schedule, unless those turn out to be only for squares.

Until then, have a GREAT day!