Peanut butter

is awesome on a burger. It's like George Washington Carver came back from the grave and said "I'VE GOT ANOTHER NOVEL USE FOR PEANUTS, GUYS!" and he's right.

It's just beef, bun, and peanut butter slathered directly onto the patty as if it were cheese.
Seriously, why are you still reading this? GO OUT AND TRY THIS RIGHT NOW

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I'm not going to explain why I mashed all the keyboard buttons and made it a paragraph. Instead I'm going to write a little bit about

GETTING
REALLY
PSYCHED!!!


*ahem*

Scenario: It's the day of the big test. It's not only your hardest test, but also your most important.
You are uncertain of how you will perform, but one thing is guaranteed...

The big test will either be a path to victory, or the most unforgiving pitfall!


Assuming you've already made the obvious preparations (studying), it is a particularly good idea to steel your nerves and become fearless. Even uncalled-for confidence helps, since every small measure of courage is a significant advantage in the battle against panic.

Should you, the Bravado Beginner,  follow these steps, you'll be well on your way to feeling badass.

1. Get well rested, so you don't get well paranoided.
2. Give yourself several hours before the big scary thing to be awake and gather yourself
3. Turn on some music, and make it loud. The song should make you want to ride a pegasus and throw grenades at Dracula. A good example would be Final Countdown by Europe.
4. Try moving around a lot. Jumping around and being absolutely insane is a reliable way to get your pulse up, send more oxygen to your brain, and wake you up.
5. Yell crazy things about your soul being on fire and your blood being rocket fuel. Continue to make unfounded and unverifiable claims about your greatness. You only have to believe them long enough to power your way through the big bad scary. 
6. While you're following these ridiculous steps, make sure you don't get carried away and forget to deal with whatever that thing was. You'd find yourself fitting the very definition of "missing the point entirely".

IF ALL ELSE FAILS, DO THIS:

Can't sleep... must awesome

As the hours march on
the things that stand to reason
sit down
and rationale takes a vacation to
backpack across europe or something

Impulses and their kin steadily
become feral
and while they're at it
also a bit louder

Following their lead
I quickly shove a towel under the window
to try to quell the frigid draft
ever exuding from its breadth
but to no avail

Incensed I turn out all the lights
lower the curtains
and tip down the roommate's clock
which issues its proud emerald glow
casting shadows and forbidding darkness
but now is quieted

Sitting in my newborn murk
I ponder a dream
attempt in vain to forge meaning
on the anvil of

what is this im going on about anyway?
i should NOT have had that coffee at this hour